Can any one tell us how to live?
3 Don'ts n 3 Dos (for Children)
IN Quran Allah Says:
" teary Rub nay hukum diya k tum usi ki ibadat karo aur waldain k saath ehsaan karo. Agar tumharay saamnay in mein say kisi ik ka burhapa aa jaiey ya donoon ka to (2 don'ts)
1.ufff tak mat kaho,
2. Unko danto mat.
(Now 3 Dos):
1.Acchi baat unko kaho,
2.aajizi say bazoo ko un k liye jhuka do,
3. (Aur is tarah dua kartay huay) kaho meray Rub in Donoon par raham jis tarah unho nay bachpan mein meri tarbiyat o parwarish ki....aameen
" teary Rub nay hukum diya k tum usi ki ibadat karo aur waldain k saath ehsaan karo. Agar tumharay saamnay in mein say kisi ik ka burhapa aa jaiey ya donoon ka to (2 don'ts)
1.ufff tak mat kaho,
2. Unko danto mat.
(Now 3 Dos):
1.Acchi baat unko kaho,
2.aajizi say bazoo ko un k liye jhuka do,
3. (Aur is tarah dua kartay huay) kaho meray Rub in Donoon par raham jis tarah unho nay bachpan mein meri tarbiyat o parwarish ki....aameen
Story: Giving Comments about others
Once an old man spread rumors that his neighbor was a thief. As a result, the young man was arrested. Days later the young man was proven innocent.
After being released he sued the old man for wrongly accusing him.
In the court, the old man told the Judge: "They were just comments, didn't harm anyone."
The judge told the old man: "Write all the things you said about him on a piece of paper. Cut them up and on the way home, throw the pieces of paper out. Tomorrow, come back to hear the sentence."
Next day, the judge told the old man: "Before the hearing starts, go out and gather all the pieces of paper that you threw out yesterday."
The old man said: "I can't do that! The wind spread them and I won't know where to find them."
The judge then replied: "The same way, simple comments may destroy the honor of a man to such an extent that one is not able to fix it. If you can't speak well of someone, rather don't say anything."
Giving comments about others have several disadvantages:
1- we become slaves of our words what we have uttered.
2- We lose our own respect in society/colleagues because of doing consistent character assassination.
3- Most of time, we are not sure whether we are right or wrong because being human our judgment can be wrong so we fall in the category of liars.
4- Negative trait of our personality becomes prominent which becomes of character in the long run.
The law of the seed
Take a look at an apple tree. There might be five hundred apples on the tree, each with ten seeds. That's a lot of seeds!
We might ask, "Why would you need so many seeds to grow just a few more trees?"
Nature has something to teach us here. It's telling us: "Most seeds never grow. So if you really want to make something happen, you better try more than once."
This might mean:You'll attend twenty interviews to get one job.
You'll interview forty people to find one good employee.
You'll talk to fifty people to sell one house, car, vacuum cleaner, idea...
And you might meet a hundred acquaintances to find one special friend.
When we understand the "Law of the Seed", we don't get so disappointed.
We stop feeling like victims. Laws of nature are not things to take personally.
We might ask, "Why would you need so many seeds to grow just a few more trees?"
Nature has something to teach us here. It's telling us: "Most seeds never grow. So if you really want to make something happen, you better try more than once."
This might mean:You'll attend twenty interviews to get one job.
You'll interview forty people to find one good employee.
You'll talk to fifty people to sell one house, car, vacuum cleaner, idea...
And you might meet a hundred acquaintances to find one special friend.
When we understand the "Law of the Seed", we don't get so disappointed.
We stop feeling like victims. Laws of nature are not things to take personally.
| source: http://paradigmwisdom.blogspot.com/ |
The story of 100 Rupees
The story of 100 Rupees:
*In the National Assembly,** Islamabad**, a PPP MNA, during his speech,
told a story.....*
"Once upon a time a father gave 100 rupees each to his 3 sons and asked
them to buy things and fill up a room completely.
1st son bought a bulk of hay for Rs 100 but couldn't fill the room entirely.
2nd son bought a pile of cotton for Rs 100 but couldn't fill the room
entirely.
3rd son bought a candle for Rs 1, lit up the candle, the room was filled
with light."
The PPP MNA added, "Our President Zardari is like the 3rd son. Since the
day he has taken charge of his office, our country is filled with the
bright light of prosperity"
A voice from the backbench MNA, Usman Bhai from Karachi, questioned:
Woh sub to theek hai, per baaqi 99 Rupay kahan hain... ???
*In the National Assembly,** Islamabad**, a PPP MNA, during his speech,
told a story.....*
"Once upon a time a father gave 100 rupees each to his 3 sons and asked
them to buy things and fill up a room completely.
1st son bought a bulk of hay for Rs 100 but couldn't fill the room entirely.
2nd son bought a pile of cotton for Rs 100 but couldn't fill the room
entirely.
3rd son bought a candle for Rs 1, lit up the candle, the room was filled
with light."
The PPP MNA added, "Our President Zardari is like the 3rd son. Since the
day he has taken charge of his office, our country is filled with the
bright light of prosperity"
A voice from the backbench MNA, Usman Bhai from Karachi, questioned:
Woh sub to theek hai, per baaqi 99 Rupay kahan hain... ???
Marriage According to Qur'an and Sunnah
Bismillaahir Rahmaanir Raheem
Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barkatuh!
According to Qur'an and Sunnah
And those who say: "Our Lord! Bestow on us
from our wives and our offspring
who will be the comfort of our eyes,
and make us leaders for the Muttaqûn"
Those will be rewarded with the highest place
(in Paradise) because of their patience.
Therein they shall be met with greetings
and the word of peace and respect.
(Qur'an 25:74-75)
The
order to Marry
Hadith - Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book
62, No. 1, Narrated Anas bin Malik
A group of three men came to the houses of the
wives of the Prophet
asking how the Prophet worshipped (Allah), and when they were
informed about that, they considered their worship insufficient and said,
"Where are we from the Prophet as his past and future sins have been forgiven."
Then one of them said, "I will offer the prayer throughout the night forever."
The other said, "I will fast throughout the year and will not break my fast."
The third said, "I will keep away from the women and will not marry forever."
Allah's Apostle came to them and said, "Are you the same people who said
so-and-so? By Allah, I am more submissive to Allah and more afraid of Him
than you; yet I fast and break my fast, I do sleep and I also marry women.
So he who does not follow my tradition in religion, is not from me (not one
of my followers)."
Hadith - Sahih Bukhari, Volume 7, Book
62, Number 4, Narrated 'Abdullah
We were with the Prophet while we were young
and had no wealth whatever. So Allah's Apostle said, "O young people! Whoever
among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and
guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual
intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting
diminishes his sexual power."
Al-Mahr
(The Dowry)
The Noble Qur'an 4:4
And give to the women (whom you marry) their
Mahr (obligatory bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time
of marriage) with a good heart, but if they, of their own good pleasure,
remit any part of it to you, take it, and enjoy it without fear of any harm.
The
Limit of What can be seen of the Woman
Whom One Seeks to Marry
Sheikh Ibn Baz, May Allah have Mercy on
him
Question: If a young man proposes marriage to a young lady
is it obligatory that he sees her? Also, is it correct that the young lady
uncover her head to show more of her beauty to her proposing fiance? Please
benefit us and may Allaah benefit you.
Answer: There is no harm (in the man seeing her), however it
is not obligatory. Rather, it is recommended that he sees her and she sees
him, because the Prophet (Sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam) commanded the one
who proposed marriage to look at the woman. This is because that is better
for causing agreement and harmony between them. So if she uncovers her face
for him, and her hands and her head, there is no harm in that according to
the correct opinion. Some of the people of knowledge have said that it is
sufficient for her to uncover the face and the two hands. However, the correct
opinion is that there is no harm in him seeing her head, face, hands and
feet, based upon the mentioned hadeeth (above). However, this is not
permissible with him being alone with her. Rather, her father, or brother,
or someone else must be with them. This is because the Prophet (Sallallaahu
'alayhi wa sallam) said, "A man must never be alone
with a woman unless there is someone who is a Mahram with them." (Agreed
upon in Saheeh Al-Bukhaaree and Saheeh Muslim.) He (Sallallaahu 'alayhi wa
sallam) also said, "A man must never be alone with
a woman, for verily the Satan is their third." (At-Tirmithee and Ahmad)
Source: Sheikh ibn Baz, Al-Fataawaa ash-Shar'iyyah
fil-Masaa'il il-'Asriyyah min Fataawaa 'Ulamaa' il-Balad il-Haraam, pp. 498-499.
Translated by Aqeel Walker
Rights
over one another
Hadith - Bukhari, Volume 3, Book 50, Number
882. Narrated Uqba bin Amir
Allah's Apostle
said,
"From among all
the conditions which you have to fulfill, the conditions which make it legal
for you to have sexual relations (i.e. the marriage contract) have the greatest
right to be fulfilled."
The following examples of behavior
of a husband are haram (prohibited) and can lead to disobedience (to Allah)
in the wife.
Al-Bahuti al-Hanbali, Kishaaf al-Qinaa’
an Matn al-Iqnaa’, vol. 5, pp. 184, 290, 213; Ibn Abideen, Radd al-Mukhtar
ala al-Darr al-Mukhtar wa Hashiyah, vol. 3, p. 190; Tafseer al-Manaar, vol.
5, p. 76.
"He [the husband] may cause his wife different
forms of harm, such as cursing her or her family, reviling her, verbally
abusing her for the tiniest of reasons. He may insult her because of her
family, if it is less prestigious or honorable than his. Or he may try to
bring harm to her by divorcing her and then, before the waiting period is
finished, bring her back as his wife and then divorce her again. All this
is done without the intention of returning to a real married life but simply
to harm her and transgress her rights. Or he may avoid having sexual intercourse
with her for no reason or legal sanction. This may lead the woman to lose
her chastity and doing something forbidden."
The Noble Qur'an Al-Baqarah
2:228
...And they (women) have rights (over their
husbands as regards living expenses, etc.) similar (to those of their husbands)
over them (as regards obedience and respect, etc.) to what is reasonable,
but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them. And Allâh is
All-Mighty, All-Wise.
Hadith - Al-Tirmidhi, Narrated Amr ibn
al-Ahwas al-Jushami
The Prophet
said,
"...Listen! You
have your rights upon your wives and they have their rights upon you. Your
right is that they shall not allow anyone you dislike, to trample your bed
and do not permit those whom you dislike to enter your home. Their right
is that you should treat them well in the matter of food and
clothing."
Hadith - Sahih Al-Bukhari 3.189, Narrated
Abu Juhaifa
Salman told Abu Ad-Darda', "Your Lord has a
right on you, your soul has a right on you, and your family has a right on
you; so you should give the rights of all those who has a right on you."
Abu Ad-Darda' came to the Prophet and narrated the whole story. The Prophet
said,
"Salman has spoken
the truth."
Hadith - Sahih Al-Bukhari 3.501, Narrated
Abu Huraira
...The Prophet
said,
"The best amongst
you is the one who pays the rights of others generously."
Hadith - Al-Tirmidhi #276, Narrated Amr
ibn al-Ahwas al-Jushami
Amr heard the Prophet
say in his farewell address on the eve of his Last Pilgrimage,
after he had glorified and praised Allah, he cautioned his followers:
'Listen! Treat women kindly; they are like prisoners
in your hands. Beyond this you do not owe anything from them. Should they
be guilty of flagrant misbehaviour, you may remove them from your beds, and
beat them but do not inflict upon them any severe punishment. Then if they
obey you, do not have recourse to anything else against them. Listen! You
have your rights upon your wives and they have their rights upon you. Your
right is that they shall not allow anyone you dislike, to trample your bed
and do not permit those whom you dislike to enter your home. Their right
is that you should treat them well in the matter of food and clothing.'
[Transmitted
by Tirmidhi]
The Noble Qur'an 5:1
O you who believe! Fulfill (your) obligations.
...
Words of Advice to the Husband and the Wife
by: Sheikh al Albaani
The husband and wife need to be compliant,
cooperative and conciliatory toward one another, and to advise each other
and urge each other toward obedience to Allah subhana wa ta'ala, following
all of His ruling which have been clearly established in the Qur'an and the
Sunnah. These must never be superceded by blind following of any religious
or other figures, or any custom or school of thought which has predominated
among the people.
Allah aza wa jal says "It is not for a believer, man or
woman, when Allâh and His Messenger have decreed a matter that they
should have any option in their decision. And whoever disobeys Allâh
and His Messenger, he has indeed strayed in a plain error.
" [al ahzab:33-36]
Each of them should fully carry out the duties
and responsibilities with which Allah has obligated them toward the other...thus,
the wife should not try to have all of the same rights as her husband, and
the husband must never exploit the role of leadership and authority to which
he has been assigned in the marriage relationship to oppress her, strike
her or to be otherwise unfair to her.
Allah says: "And women shall have rights similar
to the rights against them, according to what is equitable; but men have
a degree of advantage over them. And Allah is Exalted in Power, Wise. [al
baqarah:228]
Allah also says, "Men are the protectors and
maintainers of women, because Allâh has made one of them to excel the
other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore
the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allâh and to their husbands),
and guard in the husband's absence what Allâh orders them to guard
(e.g. their chastity, their husband's property, etc.). As to those women
on whose part you see illconduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse
to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful), but
if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance).
Surely, Allâh is Ever Most High, Most Great.
" [an-nisaa:34]
Mu'awiya ibn Haida radi Allahu anhu said "O
rasulullah, what rights do our wives have over us?" Rasulullah salallahu
alayhi wa sallam said "That you should feed them as you feed yourselves,
clothe them as you clothe yourselves, never invoke ugliness upon them, (referring
to the custom of the Arabs when they are angry they say 'May Allah make your
face ugly) never strike them in the face, and in boycotting the marital bed,
do not go outside of the house to sleep. How (could you do any of these things)
after you have entered into one another, so do only that which is allowed
with regard to her (for valid reasons). [ahmed/sahih]
In another hadith rasulullah sallallahu alayhi
wa sallam said "The doers of justice will be on thrones of light at Allah's
right Hand and both of Allah's hands are right hands- whose who were just
in their ruling, with their families and in all that over which there were
given authority." [Muslim]
When they both know and practice this, Allah
subhana wa ta'ala grants them a good life and they will live for as long
as they remain together- in the bliss of happiness.
Allah says, "Whoever works
righteousness, man or woman, and has Faith, verily, to him will We give a
new Life, a life that is good and pure, and We will bestow on such their
reward according to the best of their actions." [an nahl:97]
A
Pious Poor Man is a Better Marriage Suitorthan a Rich Man Who
is Not Pious
Hadith - Bukhari 7.28, Narrated
Sahl
A man passed by Allah's Apostle and Allah's
Apostle asked (his companions) "What do you say about this (man)?" They replied,
"If he asks for a lady's hand, he ought to be given her in marriage; and
if he intercedes (for someone) his intercessor should be accepted; and if
he speaks, he should be listened to." Allah's Apostle kept silent, and then
a man from among the poor Muslims passed by, an Allah's Apostle asked (them)
"What do you say about this man?" They replied, "If he asks for a lady's
hand in marriage he does not deserve to be married, and he intercedes (for
someone), his intercession should not be accepted; And if he speaks, he should
not be listened to." Allah's Apostle (saaws) said,
"This poor man
is better than so many of the first as filling the
earth."
Hadith - Al-Tirmidhi #3090, Narrated Abu
Hurairah, r.a.
Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) said,
'When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your
daughter in marriage, accede to his request. If you do not do so, there will
be temptation on Earth and extensive corruption.'
[Tirmidhi,
Nasa'i and Ibn Majah transmitted it.]
Action Items for
the
uttaqun:
Single Muslims should
have intentions to marry as soon as Islamically permissible and a suitable
candidate for marriage is available.
For a female,
it is permissible to marry at any time near puberty.
For a man,
he is ordered to marry after puberty once he has established a means to support
a family.
It is recommended
(in order to avoid being jailed) to not marry until old enough according
to the laws in the land they live, but it is Islamically permissible before
that.
Neither should
refuse marriage to a suitable Muslim marriage candidate.
A woman is
permitted (if she so chooses) to marry a poor man of good character, but
she must not marry a non-Muslim.
A muslim man
may only marry a Muslim or non-polytheist christian or Jew who is
chaste.
A mahr/dowry (gift
from the man to the new wife) should be agreed upon before the actual marriage.
The dowry can
be anything halal that they agree upon and it is obligatory that she is given
a dowry. It is recommended that the dowry is something appropriate to his
income level and ability to give.
Although jewelry
is permissible to be given as the dower or part of the dower, it should not
be an imitation of christian traditions, such as a diamond ring worn on the
left third finger and given as part of the marriage
ceremony.
A marriage should
be witnessed by at least two men, or four women, or one man and two
women.
Give your spouse his/her
rights. If your rights are not being given to you, ASK ALLAH for these
rights.
The Prophet (sallallahu aleihi wa sallam) said, "Soon others will be preferred
to you, and there will be things which you will not like." The companions
of the Prophet asked, "O Allah's Apostle! What do you order us to do (in
this case)?" He said, "(I order you) to give the rights that are on you
and to ask your rights from Allah." [Sahih
Al-Bukhari 4.800, Narrated Ibn Masud]
The rights of a husband
include:
Halal marital relations
to the degree that they are able
That the wife will
guard in the husband's absence what Allah has ordered her to guard (i.e.
her chastity, his property, secrets in the bed between the
two)
That she would not
fast while in his presence, without his permission.
If it is an
obligatory fast, he still has rights to deny it if he has a valid reason,
such as believing that the fast would be a severe risk to her health, and
he must allow the obligatory fast of Ramadan if there is no valid reason
to forbid it.
As to when
she is to make up the Ramadan fast days that she did not make due to her
menstrual, he must cooperate with her desires to make it up promptly, but
he still can deny that the fast be done at certain times as he decides what
he believes is best for her and for the marriage overall.
For non-obligated
fasts, he should encourage the piety of fasting in general, but he is
not obligated to permit each request to fast if they will be in each
other's presence during the fast.
To move the wife,
have her travel with him, or to have up to four wives unless previously
stipulated before marriage
That she will not
spend his money against his halal orders
That she will not
permit anyone to enter his house except with his
permission
If seeing ill behavior
from the wife, he has the right to first admonish her, then after
that he may refuse to share the bed, then he may beat her lightly
(in a way that does not leave marks or damage the body, as this is for a
reminder to the call of Islam, not a punishment to inflict any physical
harm). If at any time, she returns to obedience to Allah, swt, he should
stop any means of annoyance upon her.
The rights of a wife
include:
To have a muslim husband
whose general aqeedah (beliefs/creed) and minhaj (methodology) is Qur'an
and Sunnah
Halal marital relations
to the degree that they are able
To refuse to move,
travel, or be a co-wife if previously stipulated before
marriage
To be clothed and
fed as well as the husband, from his means.
Also that her
dependent children are so clothed and fed by her new husband where the provisions
of the biological father fall short (such as a deceased or deadbeat biological
father), unless stipulated otherwise prior to marriage. But then of course
they would have to stipulate how they intend to provide for the kids and
what they will do if the situation changes (such as the biological father
dies). The biological father is obligated first and foremost to provide
for them within his means, but the new husband is also responsible for the
protection and maintenance of those within his
care.
The husband
is responsible for maintaining the wife. If the wife has children from a
previous marriage, providing for her children is a need she has. The new
husband's job includes maintaining this aspect of the wife's
needs.
Men are the protectors and maintainers
of women, because Allâh has made one of them to excel the other, and
because they spend (to support them) from their means. ... (Qur'an
4:34)
The best of what you consume is that
which you have earned. And your children are part of what you have earned.
[al-Tirmidhi
and al-Nasai. Al-Albani has graded it sahih. Al-Albani, Sahih al-Jami,
vol. 1, p. 326.].
And give to the kindred his due and to
the Miskîn (poor) and to the wayfarer. But spend not wastefully (your
wealth) in the manner of a spendthrift .
[Qur'an
17:26]
...That you should feed them as you feed
yourselves, clothe them as you clothe yourselves
[Ahmed/sahih]
And the man is responsible for his household
and will be asked about his responsibility
[Bukhari]
Hind (bint 'Utba) said to the Prophet,
"Abu Sufyan is a miserly man and I need to take some money of his wealth."
The Prophet (saaws) said, "Take reasonably what is sufficient for you and
your children." [Bukhari 9.291, Narrated
'Aisha]
The Prophet (saaws) said, "You will
not find me to be miserly, cowardly, or a liar."
[Muwatta
21.22]
Allah's Messenger (saaws) said, "The
generous man is near Allah, near Paradise, near men and far from Hell, but
the miserly man is far from Allah, far from Paradise, far from men and near
Hell. Indeed, an ignorant man who is generous is dearer to Allah than a
worshipper who is miserly."
[Tirmidhi
1869, Narrated Abu Huraira]
Remember... Allah, Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, Knows everything we do!
Source:
WWW.MUTTAQUN.COM
Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barkatuh!
* Marriage *
According to Qur'an and Sunnah
And those who say: "Our Lord! Bestow on us
from our wives and our offspring
who will be the comfort of our eyes,
and make us leaders for the Muttaqûn"
Those will be rewarded with the highest place
(in Paradise) because of their patience.
Therein they shall be met with greetings
and the word of peace and respect.
(Qur'an 25:74-75)
The
order to Marry
Hadith - Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book
62, No. 1, Narrated Anas bin Malik
A group of three men came to the houses of the
wives of the Prophet
asking how the Prophet worshipped (Allah), and when they were
informed about that, they considered their worship insufficient and said,
"Where are we from the Prophet as his past and future sins have been forgiven."
Then one of them said, "I will offer the prayer throughout the night forever."
The other said, "I will fast throughout the year and will not break my fast."
The third said, "I will keep away from the women and will not marry forever."
Allah's Apostle came to them and said, "Are you the same people who said
so-and-so? By Allah, I am more submissive to Allah and more afraid of Him
than you; yet I fast and break my fast, I do sleep and I also marry women.
So he who does not follow my tradition in religion, is not from me (not one
of my followers)."
Hadith - Sahih Bukhari, Volume 7, Book
62, Number 4, Narrated 'Abdullah
We were with the Prophet while we were young
and had no wealth whatever. So Allah's Apostle said, "O young people! Whoever
among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and
guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual
intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting
diminishes his sexual power."
Al-Mahr
(The Dowry)
The Noble Qur'an 4:4
And give to the women (whom you marry) their
Mahr (obligatory bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time
of marriage) with a good heart, but if they, of their own good pleasure,
remit any part of it to you, take it, and enjoy it without fear of any harm.
The
Limit of What can be seen of the Woman
Whom One Seeks to Marry
Sheikh Ibn Baz, May Allah have Mercy on
him
Question: If a young man proposes marriage to a young lady
is it obligatory that he sees her? Also, is it correct that the young lady
uncover her head to show more of her beauty to her proposing fiance? Please
benefit us and may Allaah benefit you.
Answer: There is no harm (in the man seeing her), however it
is not obligatory. Rather, it is recommended that he sees her and she sees
him, because the Prophet (Sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam) commanded the one
who proposed marriage to look at the woman. This is because that is better
for causing agreement and harmony between them. So if she uncovers her face
for him, and her hands and her head, there is no harm in that according to
the correct opinion. Some of the people of knowledge have said that it is
sufficient for her to uncover the face and the two hands. However, the correct
opinion is that there is no harm in him seeing her head, face, hands and
feet, based upon the mentioned hadeeth (above). However, this is not
permissible with him being alone with her. Rather, her father, or brother,
or someone else must be with them. This is because the Prophet (Sallallaahu
'alayhi wa sallam) said, "A man must never be alone
with a woman unless there is someone who is a Mahram with them." (Agreed
upon in Saheeh Al-Bukhaaree and Saheeh Muslim.) He (Sallallaahu 'alayhi wa
sallam) also said, "A man must never be alone with
a woman, for verily the Satan is their third." (At-Tirmithee and Ahmad)
Source: Sheikh ibn Baz, Al-Fataawaa ash-Shar'iyyah
fil-Masaa'il il-'Asriyyah min Fataawaa 'Ulamaa' il-Balad il-Haraam, pp. 498-499.
Translated by Aqeel Walker
Rights
over one another
Hadith - Bukhari, Volume 3, Book 50, Number
882. Narrated Uqba bin Amir
Allah's Apostle
said,
"From among all
the conditions which you have to fulfill, the conditions which make it legal
for you to have sexual relations (i.e. the marriage contract) have the greatest
right to be fulfilled."
The following examples of behavior
of a husband are haram (prohibited) and can lead to disobedience (to Allah)
in the wife.
Al-Bahuti al-Hanbali, Kishaaf al-Qinaa’
an Matn al-Iqnaa’, vol. 5, pp. 184, 290, 213; Ibn Abideen, Radd al-Mukhtar
ala al-Darr al-Mukhtar wa Hashiyah, vol. 3, p. 190; Tafseer al-Manaar, vol.
5, p. 76.
"He [the husband] may cause his wife different
forms of harm, such as cursing her or her family, reviling her, verbally
abusing her for the tiniest of reasons. He may insult her because of her
family, if it is less prestigious or honorable than his. Or he may try to
bring harm to her by divorcing her and then, before the waiting period is
finished, bring her back as his wife and then divorce her again. All this
is done without the intention of returning to a real married life but simply
to harm her and transgress her rights. Or he may avoid having sexual intercourse
with her for no reason or legal sanction. This may lead the woman to lose
her chastity and doing something forbidden."
The Noble Qur'an Al-Baqarah
2:228
...And they (women) have rights (over their
husbands as regards living expenses, etc.) similar (to those of their husbands)
over them (as regards obedience and respect, etc.) to what is reasonable,
but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them. And Allâh is
All-Mighty, All-Wise.
Hadith - Al-Tirmidhi, Narrated Amr ibn
al-Ahwas al-Jushami
The Prophet
said,
"...Listen! You
have your rights upon your wives and they have their rights upon you. Your
right is that they shall not allow anyone you dislike, to trample your bed
and do not permit those whom you dislike to enter your home. Their right
is that you should treat them well in the matter of food and
clothing."
Hadith - Sahih Al-Bukhari 3.189, Narrated
Abu Juhaifa
Salman told Abu Ad-Darda', "Your Lord has a
right on you, your soul has a right on you, and your family has a right on
you; so you should give the rights of all those who has a right on you."
Abu Ad-Darda' came to the Prophet and narrated the whole story. The Prophet
said,
"Salman has spoken
the truth."
Hadith - Sahih Al-Bukhari 3.501, Narrated
Abu Huraira
...The Prophet
said,
"The best amongst
you is the one who pays the rights of others generously."
Hadith - Al-Tirmidhi #276, Narrated Amr
ibn al-Ahwas al-Jushami
Amr heard the Prophet
say in his farewell address on the eve of his Last Pilgrimage,
after he had glorified and praised Allah, he cautioned his followers:
'Listen! Treat women kindly; they are like prisoners
in your hands. Beyond this you do not owe anything from them. Should they
be guilty of flagrant misbehaviour, you may remove them from your beds, and
beat them but do not inflict upon them any severe punishment. Then if they
obey you, do not have recourse to anything else against them. Listen! You
have your rights upon your wives and they have their rights upon you. Your
right is that they shall not allow anyone you dislike, to trample your bed
and do not permit those whom you dislike to enter your home. Their right
is that you should treat them well in the matter of food and clothing.'
[Transmitted
by Tirmidhi]
The Noble Qur'an 5:1
O you who believe! Fulfill (your) obligations.
...
Words of Advice to the Husband and the Wife
by: Sheikh al Albaani
The husband and wife need to be compliant,
cooperative and conciliatory toward one another, and to advise each other
and urge each other toward obedience to Allah subhana wa ta'ala, following
all of His ruling which have been clearly established in the Qur'an and the
Sunnah. These must never be superceded by blind following of any religious
or other figures, or any custom or school of thought which has predominated
among the people.
Allah aza wa jal says "It is not for a believer, man or
woman, when Allâh and His Messenger have decreed a matter that they
should have any option in their decision. And whoever disobeys Allâh
and His Messenger, he has indeed strayed in a plain error.
" [al ahzab:33-36]
Each of them should fully carry out the duties
and responsibilities with which Allah has obligated them toward the other...thus,
the wife should not try to have all of the same rights as her husband, and
the husband must never exploit the role of leadership and authority to which
he has been assigned in the marriage relationship to oppress her, strike
her or to be otherwise unfair to her.
Allah says: "And women shall have rights similar
to the rights against them, according to what is equitable; but men have
a degree of advantage over them. And Allah is Exalted in Power, Wise. [al
baqarah:228]
Allah also says, "Men are the protectors and
maintainers of women, because Allâh has made one of them to excel the
other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore
the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allâh and to their husbands),
and guard in the husband's absence what Allâh orders them to guard
(e.g. their chastity, their husband's property, etc.). As to those women
on whose part you see illconduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse
to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful), but
if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance).
Surely, Allâh is Ever Most High, Most Great.
" [an-nisaa:34]
Mu'awiya ibn Haida radi Allahu anhu said "O
rasulullah, what rights do our wives have over us?" Rasulullah salallahu
alayhi wa sallam said "That you should feed them as you feed yourselves,
clothe them as you clothe yourselves, never invoke ugliness upon them, (referring
to the custom of the Arabs when they are angry they say 'May Allah make your
face ugly) never strike them in the face, and in boycotting the marital bed,
do not go outside of the house to sleep. How (could you do any of these things)
after you have entered into one another, so do only that which is allowed
with regard to her (for valid reasons). [ahmed/sahih]
In another hadith rasulullah sallallahu alayhi
wa sallam said "The doers of justice will be on thrones of light at Allah's
right Hand and both of Allah's hands are right hands- whose who were just
in their ruling, with their families and in all that over which there were
given authority." [Muslim]
When they both know and practice this, Allah
subhana wa ta'ala grants them a good life and they will live for as long
as they remain together- in the bliss of happiness.
Allah says, "Whoever works
righteousness, man or woman, and has Faith, verily, to him will We give a
new Life, a life that is good and pure, and We will bestow on such their
reward according to the best of their actions." [an nahl:97]
A
Pious Poor Man is a Better Marriage Suitorthan a Rich Man Who
is Not Pious
Hadith - Bukhari 7.28, Narrated
Sahl
A man passed by Allah's Apostle and Allah's
Apostle asked (his companions) "What do you say about this (man)?" They replied,
"If he asks for a lady's hand, he ought to be given her in marriage; and
if he intercedes (for someone) his intercessor should be accepted; and if
he speaks, he should be listened to." Allah's Apostle kept silent, and then
a man from among the poor Muslims passed by, an Allah's Apostle asked (them)
"What do you say about this man?" They replied, "If he asks for a lady's
hand in marriage he does not deserve to be married, and he intercedes (for
someone), his intercession should not be accepted; And if he speaks, he should
not be listened to." Allah's Apostle (saaws) said,
"This poor man
is better than so many of the first as filling the
earth."
Hadith - Al-Tirmidhi #3090, Narrated Abu
Hurairah, r.a.
Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) said,
'When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your
daughter in marriage, accede to his request. If you do not do so, there will
be temptation on Earth and extensive corruption.'
[Tirmidhi,
Nasa'i and Ibn Majah transmitted it.]
Action Items for
the
uttaqun:
Single Muslims should
have intentions to marry as soon as Islamically permissible and a suitable
candidate for marriage is available.
For a female,
it is permissible to marry at any time near puberty.
For a man,
he is ordered to marry after puberty once he has established a means to support
a family.
It is recommended
(in order to avoid being jailed) to not marry until old enough according
to the laws in the land they live, but it is Islamically permissible before
that.
Neither should
refuse marriage to a suitable Muslim marriage candidate.
A woman is
permitted (if she so chooses) to marry a poor man of good character, but
she must not marry a non-Muslim.
A muslim man
may only marry a Muslim or non-polytheist christian or Jew who is
chaste.
A mahr/dowry (gift
from the man to the new wife) should be agreed upon before the actual marriage.
The dowry can
be anything halal that they agree upon and it is obligatory that she is given
a dowry. It is recommended that the dowry is something appropriate to his
income level and ability to give.
Although jewelry
is permissible to be given as the dower or part of the dower, it should not
be an imitation of christian traditions, such as a diamond ring worn on the
left third finger and given as part of the marriage
ceremony.
A marriage should
be witnessed by at least two men, or four women, or one man and two
women.
Give your spouse his/her
rights. If your rights are not being given to you, ASK ALLAH for these
rights.
The Prophet (sallallahu aleihi wa sallam) said, "Soon others will be preferred
to you, and there will be things which you will not like." The companions
of the Prophet asked, "O Allah's Apostle! What do you order us to do (in
this case)?" He said, "(I order you) to give the rights that are on you
and to ask your rights from Allah." [Sahih
Al-Bukhari 4.800, Narrated Ibn Masud]
The rights of a husband
include:
Halal marital relations
to the degree that they are able
That the wife will
guard in the husband's absence what Allah has ordered her to guard (i.e.
her chastity, his property, secrets in the bed between the
two)
That she would not
fast while in his presence, without his permission.
If it is an
obligatory fast, he still has rights to deny it if he has a valid reason,
such as believing that the fast would be a severe risk to her health, and
he must allow the obligatory fast of Ramadan if there is no valid reason
to forbid it.
As to when
she is to make up the Ramadan fast days that she did not make due to her
menstrual, he must cooperate with her desires to make it up promptly, but
he still can deny that the fast be done at certain times as he decides what
he believes is best for her and for the marriage overall.
For non-obligated
fasts, he should encourage the piety of fasting in general, but he is
not obligated to permit each request to fast if they will be in each
other's presence during the fast.
To move the wife,
have her travel with him, or to have up to four wives unless previously
stipulated before marriage
That she will not
spend his money against his halal orders
That she will not
permit anyone to enter his house except with his
permission
If seeing ill behavior
from the wife, he has the right to first admonish her, then after
that he may refuse to share the bed, then he may beat her lightly
(in a way that does not leave marks or damage the body, as this is for a
reminder to the call of Islam, not a punishment to inflict any physical
harm). If at any time, she returns to obedience to Allah, swt, he should
stop any means of annoyance upon her.
The rights of a wife
include:
To have a muslim husband
whose general aqeedah (beliefs/creed) and minhaj (methodology) is Qur'an
and Sunnah
Halal marital relations
to the degree that they are able
To refuse to move,
travel, or be a co-wife if previously stipulated before
marriage
To be clothed and
fed as well as the husband, from his means.
Also that her
dependent children are so clothed and fed by her new husband where the provisions
of the biological father fall short (such as a deceased or deadbeat biological
father), unless stipulated otherwise prior to marriage. But then of course
they would have to stipulate how they intend to provide for the kids and
what they will do if the situation changes (such as the biological father
dies). The biological father is obligated first and foremost to provide
for them within his means, but the new husband is also responsible for the
protection and maintenance of those within his
care.
The husband
is responsible for maintaining the wife. If the wife has children from a
previous marriage, providing for her children is a need she has. The new
husband's job includes maintaining this aspect of the wife's
needs.
Men are the protectors and maintainers
of women, because Allâh has made one of them to excel the other, and
because they spend (to support them) from their means. ... (Qur'an
4:34)
The best of what you consume is that
which you have earned. And your children are part of what you have earned.
[al-Tirmidhi
and al-Nasai. Al-Albani has graded it sahih. Al-Albani, Sahih al-Jami,
vol. 1, p. 326.].
And give to the kindred his due and to
the Miskîn (poor) and to the wayfarer. But spend not wastefully (your
wealth) in the manner of a spendthrift .
[Qur'an
17:26]
...That you should feed them as you feed
yourselves, clothe them as you clothe yourselves
[Ahmed/sahih]
And the man is responsible for his household
and will be asked about his responsibility
[Bukhari]
Hind (bint 'Utba) said to the Prophet,
"Abu Sufyan is a miserly man and I need to take some money of his wealth."
The Prophet (saaws) said, "Take reasonably what is sufficient for you and
your children." [Bukhari 9.291, Narrated
'Aisha]
The Prophet (saaws) said, "You will
not find me to be miserly, cowardly, or a liar."
[Muwatta
21.22]
Allah's Messenger (saaws) said, "The
generous man is near Allah, near Paradise, near men and far from Hell, but
the miserly man is far from Allah, far from Paradise, far from men and near
Hell. Indeed, an ignorant man who is generous is dearer to Allah than a
worshipper who is miserly."
[Tirmidhi
1869, Narrated Abu Huraira]
Remember... Allah, Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, Knows everything we do!
Source:
WWW.MUTTAQUN.COM
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